Ran across this post on Of Books and Bicycles while tag surfing:
Narrative « Of Books and Bicycles
These days, I find that if I try to think of a story idea, my mind is blank. If I wanted to get serious about it, I could probably try some freewriting or other idea-getting technique and maybe come up with something, but the thought fills me with such anxiety that, since no one is making me write fiction, I won’t try it. And I don’t mean to imply that I think this is a failing of mine; I’m just interested in why I’m this way.I think early on I got this idea in my head that I’m not creative. To some extent I still believe that, but I’m more inclined to think that it’s not that I’m not creative, but that I don’t show my creativity in traditional ways. And I’m interested in trying to get past whatever block I have when it comes to creativity and to let the creativity I do have out a little bit. Having a blog is a great way to do that, I think.
Wow. Me too. I can think of story ideas, but they don’t seem to me to be particularly original or interesting, and they never amount to stories, just fragments. They don’t go anywhere. Or if I do come up with a whole story arc, it seems so cliched. And anxiety — yeah. But it’s good to know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Filed under: writing
I’ve been writing fiction since November. I always had the same feelings as you echo here. But I think I have finally broken free from that by simply starting out with a really bad, cliched plot and working on it until it starts to get better. My stories probably aren’t all that good at the end, but I get the feeling that they will improve with practice.
And blogging certainly has helped make me more verbose. . . .
There are no new stories. Just retelling of the same one in a myriad of different ways. If you try hard enough you can find variations on any story at the library, movie theater (etc.,). It’s not the originality of the story- but the skill in how it’s told that makes the story entertaining.
It’s never going to be perfect the first time out. Caveblogem is right. Someone once told me “There is no substitute for it, Just write the first crappy version of your story and finish it.” That person was right. You need to do that. And do it over and over. Each time with a story that has meaning to you. Eventually it gets better. It does take practice.
Before I conclude this post here’s one last truth I’ve recently discovered: The difference between success and failure as a writer is one thing- Passion. It’s the drive to keep at it in spite of the odds, the multitude of failures, and distractions, that may occur prior to the one success that gets the ball rolling. Many people have talent. Not everyone has passion.
Good luck.
“Eventually it gets better. It does take practice.”
I know. It does. It does get better. It’s hard to have faith in that, though. And where does the anxiety come from? I mean, what is so scary about putting words on paper?
“And where does the anxiety come from? What’s so scary about putting words on paper?”
I can’t answer that question for you.
But for me, It’s fear. Fear of failure. As long as one never tries, one can’t fail. Then we can hang on to that fragile dream that will never come true. Never hurt by rejection. Never discouraged. Never having to face the possibility of a shattered dream. On any random day we can entertain ourselves with that thought of “what if”. .. or “maybe I can, maybe I’ll try today.” We might even give it a try before putting it away again. And we can be secure with that fragile dream. A dream that makes life tolerable. That makes bearable the unbearable. It’s not logical. But then fear never is.
At the same time we’re also cheating ourselves out of the possibility of success.
I’ve had the same problems you’ve mention in your post. Starting. Writing. Then running into a wall. I’ve let myself get distracted by the rest of life’s needs. One thing or the other. And I’ve finally realized- and it took me long enough- that I’ve cheated myself out of a whole lot of time. Time that I could’ve been spending learning my writing process. Writing and finishing that first crappy draft. Practicing and perfecting.
Now that I’ve learned those lessons. I’m more determined not to waste any more time.
Personally, I have similar problems. For me, it is because I am a vision person–and I don’t think of how I can work out all the details. I always have a grand idea, vision in my head. Getting there is the problem, though. Through all of this, I have slowly started adopting a different philosophy that resonates through Michael Jordan’s famous quote, “I can accept failure, but I can’t accept not trying.”
You all are inspiring!
For me, the anxiety comes from the fact that I’ve already announced to the world that I am a writer. So what do I do on the days where I don’t feel like writing: days where I hate everything that I put on paper, days where I wish I’d never even said the words out loud to anyone else?
And like Kempis said, that old dreaded ‘fear of failing’ comes creeping in.
Still, I have to remind myself that this is what I love. It is my passion. I have to write to breathe, to live.
And I think it is only because writing is such a huge part of who I am, that I continue to do it; even if I never publish a thing.
Yeah, the fear gets me sometimes too.
I write for a living, and the writing I actually get paid for is much much more difficult than the writing I do on my blog and for myself (just not as interesting). And so the fears connected with it are not easy to understand at all. Why should I fear this easy stuff? And yet it is so hard to put pen to paper some days.
Some warped fear of the unknown? Fear of boredom finally turning into insanity? Honestly, I have no idea, yet I’m certain that fear underlies that writers block in some mysterious way.